Saturday 26 October 2013

[Build Your Business Online] TITLE

Build Your Business Online has posted a new item, 'How to Earn Straight A's'

When I started high school, I decided I was going to become a straight-A student, even though I’d never done that before. It seemed like an interesting goal to pursue as a 14-year old. Since school was the center of my life back then, I figured I might as well succeed at it.

On my first freshman English essay, I got a C+. I was a bit miffed. I thought I had done my best.

Instead of interpreting that C+ to mean that I was going to fail at my goal, I asked, “Why didn’t I get an A? What would an A essay need to look like?”

Whenever I got less than an A in a class assignment, I kept asking, “What do I need to do differently to get an A?”

If I wasn’t sure, I asked the teacher and listened carefully. I told my teachers that I wanted all As on my report card and asked what I need to do to make it so. They gladly told me. I took their advice and followed their suggestions.

Soon I locked onto the mindset and habits that were required to earn and maintain straight As, and I kept that up for 4 years. I graduated high school with top honors, glowing letters of recommendation, and acceptance letters to top computer science universities like UC Berkeley, UCLA, Caltech, Carnegie Mellon, and more.

The surprise is that it probably took less work to earn all As than it did to earn lower grades. When you’re earning straight As, you’re learning the material as it’s presented. You’re not falling behind. You remain caught up and current on assignments. You’re not succumbing to confusion or cluelessness. If you don’t understand something, you figure it out ASAP. If you need help, you ask for help right away. You do NOT fall behind.

Students who earn lower grades often work harder because they use a sloppy approach. They succumb to bad habits like doing assignments at the last minute under pressure. They show up for tests tired and stressed instead of relaxed and prepared. They don’t learn information as it’s presented; they try to cram it in later, when they have less time, more pressure, and less familiarity with the ideas. They get a B or C and think it’s okay instead of going back to learn what would have been necessary to get an A.

To an A student, a B is an error. So is a B+. So is an A-.

When I got an A- on anything, I regarded it as a mistake. I didn’t beat myself up about it. I just kept asking, “Why not an A? What do I need to do differently?”

If I made a minor screw-up that I couldn’t have reasonably prevented, I just forgave the mistake and let it go. But if I could identify a preventable cause for the mistake, I made a note of that and figured out how to change my habits. For instance, if I made a simple arithmetic mistake on a math test, I could largely prevent that type of error by redoing any arithmetic steps again after I’d done each problem once, without looking at my original work the second time through. If the answers came out differently, then of course I must have made an error, and I could go back and fix it before handing in the test, assuming I still had time. I also learned to slowly proofread essays for spelling and grammar mistakes and to look up any word I wasn’t sure about.

Ultimately, getting straight As turned out to involve a series of simple habits. I did all my homework each night at my desk in my bedroom before playing any video games. I always did extra credit when it was offered. I gladly helped other students who wanted help with their assignments, partly since it helped me learn the material better and partly because it earned me more social support among my classmates.

I understand that there’s a lot of variability in grading. Grading can often seem unfair. An interesting study showed that the further after a meal a teacher grades your assignment or test, the lower your grade. Teachers are more generous with grading when they have higher blood sugar. So the best time for your paper to be graded is right after your teacher eats. And you probably can’t control that most of the time.

But you can use teacher biases in your favor too. If you tell a teacher you want to be a straight-A student, it will stick in their mind. They’ll often help you get there, especially if you ask for help and advice. They may even give you the benefit of the doubt when grading something subjective if they know that it’s a serious goal for you to earn an A. They usually won’t give you straight-up charity, but it doesn’t hurt to bend the subjective aspects in your favor by getting your teachers on your side.

Getting straight As has to do with your attitude and performance of course, but it also has much to do with your relationships with your teachers. If you think a teacher can’t or won’t downgrade you because of problems in your relationship, think again. Teachers are human. Even if they don’t consciously realize their biases, these biases show up subconsciously. This has been found again and again in statistical analyses of teachers’ grading patterns.

Because of the subjective nature of grading, especially with some of the softer subjects, I quickly learned that I could do all the required coursework in excellent fashion and still not feel totally secure about getting a solid A. But if I developed and maintained positive relationships with my teachers, the A was fairly secure, and a strong relationship also gave me a little more wiggle room. I could screw up now and then and still get the A if the teacher believed I had done enough (or more than enough) to earn it. Teachers are often willing to forgive a few mistakes if they perceive that a student is making a serious effort.

By committing to earning straight As, I converted my identity into that of a straight-A student. It wasn’t long before I adopted other behaviors that I thought were appropriate for a straight-A student.

In high school I developed positive relationships with my teachers by expressing more interest in the subjects they taught, which was after all their work. Even if I was already getting As, I’d ask for more information about the topics that interested me most. I’d express curiosity to learn more than what was being taught in class. I’d ask my teachers what else they were working on and if they could share some of that with me. I’d hang around after class and joke around. I sometimes joined clubs that my teachers were involved in. I didn’t do this manipulatively, and I didn’t do this with every teacher. I just did it when I was genuinely curious.

Consequently, I was invited to partake in several other educational opportunities that other students weren’t informed about. I got to go on special field trips, such as to Jet Propulsion Laboratories in Pasadena, California. I was given access to extra resources like books and software. I was invited to take a college-level course at USC while I was still in high school, which gave me college course credit. I was invited to serve as captain of my school’s first Academic Decathlon team.

We set our own standards. If a B is good enough for you, that’s your choice. But so many of the choicest opportunities in life are reserved for the truly dedicated top performers who continue to strive for excellence. Those people receive an endless stream of positive invitations.

Earning straight As doesn’t require more work. It requires a different mindset and a different set of habits, but in the long run, it’s actually less work, especially when you peer through the lens of a long time perspective. If you earn straight As early in life, you’ll gain knowledge and skills that you can rely upon later in life. You won’t always know how those skills will come into play.

I could have decided that I didn’t need to be good at writing or grammar because even in high school, I knew I was headed for a technical career. I couldn’t predict that I’d end up making a great living from writing and speaking. There was no such thing as blogging when I was in school. But I’m immensely grateful to my past self for committing to these basic skills so strongly. He set me up with some quality habits that serve me well to this day. If he had settled for that C+, he’d have put the onus on me to later relearn how to write, or to settle for weak writing skills.

Even if you’re not in school right now, life itself is a school. You’re still being graded. Your grades are your results. Life is grading you.

Are you happy with your current grades, or do you feel you’re underperforming your potential? What kind of commitment would be equivalent to getting straight As today? What will it take to rise to the top of your class, to become one of the best performers among your peers, and to develop positive relationships with mentors and learn from them?

What is your vision of personal excellence today?

Once you figure out your current straight-A standard, commit to it. Whenever you fall short, keep asking, “What do I need to do to get an A here?” Then do what’s necessary to earn that A.

Moreover, keep thinking of yourself as a straight-A student. That’s not someone else. That’s you. You’re the achiever, the performer, the one who’s dedicated to personal excellence.


Steve Recommends

Money Mindfest – Increase your financial abundance in this FREE online event from Learning Strategies

Site Build It! – Use SBI to start your own money-making website

Getting Rich with Ebooks – Use ebooks to create streams of passive income

Lefkoe Method – Eliminate a limiting belief in 20 minutes

Paraliminals – Condition your mind for positive thinking and success

The Journal – Record your life lessons in a secure private journal

PhotoReading – Read books 3 times faster

Sedona Method (FREE audios) – Learn to release mental and emotional blocks in a few minutes

Life on Purpose – A step-by-step process to discover your life purpose





If you’ve found Steve’s work helpful, please donate to show your support.

Add Steve on Google+  -  Follow Steve on Twitter  -  Get Steve’s Free newsletter

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You may view the latest post at http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2013/10/how-to-earn-straight-as/ You received this e-mail because you asked to be notified when new updates are posted. Best regards, Build Your Business Online peter.clarke@designed-for-success.com

Monday 21 October 2013

[Build Your Business Online] TITLE

Build Your Business Online has posted a new item, 'Money Mindfest Starts Today – Free Online Event'

Just a  reminder that the new Money Mindfest (hosted by Learning Strategies and Joe Vitale) has now started, so you can listen it to right away. I mentioned it in my last newsletter  since this Mindfest ties in really well with the newsletter article I shared about getting aligned with your desires.

The whole Mindfest is free.

This Mindfest is about how to create more abundance in your life. Today’s session is about the Law of Creating… a step beyond the Law of Attraction.

Why is it free? Learning Strategies gives away the material for free over the course of a week, and then people can buy the recordings afterwards if they want to own a copy. Since the whole course is try-before-you-buy, it only works for them if the quality is superb and people want to own a copy afterwards. It’s a nice win-win arrangement. You get to listen to the whole course for free… and only think about buying it if you really love it.

One new Mindfest session will be posted each day of this week (6 days total), starting at 8am Pacific time (11am Eastern). Each audio session can be streamed for free for about 24 hours. After that, the previous day’s session is taken offline, and the next day’s session becomes available.

You also get a free Paraliminal to listen to each day. Today’s Paraliminal is called Abundant Money Mindset.

A typical Mindfest session is about 30 minutes, so it’s an easy listen… fits nicely into a lunch break.

Joe Vitale is hosting this Money Mindfest. I’ve known Joe for a few years, and we get along really well because we have similar styles of learning from exploration, acting on inspiration immediately, and being prolific writers with a focus on providing value for people. I think you’ll especially enjoy his contagious enthusiasm. He’ll definitely challenge you to start thinking about money and abundance in different ways.

You can listen to today’s session right now. This is a great way to start off your week with positive insights on abundance and creativity. Enjoy!

You can get free access here: Money Mindfest


Steve Recommends

Money Mindfest – Increase your financial abundance in this FREE online event from Learning Strategies

Site Build It! – Use SBI to start your own money-making website

Getting Rich with Ebooks – Use ebooks to create streams of passive income

Lefkoe Method – Eliminate a limiting belief in 20 minutes

Paraliminals – Condition your mind for positive thinking and success

The Journal – Record your life lessons in a secure private journal

PhotoReading – Read books 3 times faster

Sedona Method (FREE audios) – Learn to release mental and emotional blocks in a few minutes

Life on Purpose – A step-by-step process to discover your life purpose





If you’ve found Steve’s work helpful, please donate to show your support.

Add Steve on Google+  -  Follow Steve on Twitter  -  Get Steve’s Free newsletter

Uncopyrighted by Steve Pavlina

You may view the latest post at http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2013/10/money-mindfest-starts-today-free-online-event/ You received this e-mail because you asked to be notified when new updates are posted. Best regards, Build Your Business Online peter.clarke@designed-for-success.com

Friday 11 October 2013

[Build Your Business Online] TITLE

Build Your Business Online has posted a new item, 'You Don't Need to Overcome Approach Anxiety'

Many people use the label approach anxiety to describe the fear of starting a conversation with someone new. This is a common fear, and many people identify it as a stumbling block that supposedly prevents them from enjoying a rich and abundant social life.

The truth is that working on overcoming “approach anxiety” is largely a distraction. It’s not actually a problem that needs to be solved to enjoy a socially abundantly life. It’s an imaginary obstacle that makes people feel inadequate, and then that inadequacy is used as a puzzle/distraction/diversion to avoid intimacy and to suppress other aspects of one’s personality.

The people I know who are really good at street approaches have all told me that they “virtually never” find a good connection that way. Results-wise this path is usually a dead end.

In my experience the people who become good at approaching and starting conversations with random strangers on the street, turn around and become “approach coaches.” In order to sell people on this skill set, they drum up feelings of inadequacy in people, making them think that this is an important and critical skill to develop in order to enjoy a socially abundant life. But the reality is that it’s more likely to lead to an endless treadmill of shallow connections with low compatibility.

Yes, you can get a high from facing your fears and doing random approaches. Yes, overcoming this hurdle can yield other benefits. If you buy into these benefits, then go do it quickly. You’ll make tons of progress within a week of dedicated practice. And then you can move on to more important matters.

But if one week passes, then another, and another… and then a few months… and then a few years, and you still find yourself thinking that you need to develop this skill in order to enjoy a richly rewarding social life, then you’re making a huge mistake and using this minor skill as a block to keep yourself stuck. So if you’ve been telling yourself that you have to overcome approach anxiety first in order to enjoy more social abundance, stop it.

Here’s a simple analogy. The skill of approaching random people on the street is similar to the skill of door-to-door selling in business. For some businesses that may be a valuable skill set, and there are books, videos, and sales trainers that can teach you how to do this. With some practice you could overcome your fears and resistance to door-to-door selling. But is this an important or essential skill that you really need to develop in order to succeed in business? Of course not.

You can obviously build a thriving business without relying on the skill of door-to-door selling. But it would be a huge limiting belief to convince yourself that you must become good at such a skill before you can allow yourself to have a thriving business.

This is essentially what people do with their focus on approach anxiety. It’s a minor and non-essential skill, but they use it as an excuse for not having what they desire — for years!

Oh, you know… I wish I could have a cool relationship and better friends, but unfortunately I have issues with social anxiety, so…

I need to commit myself to going out every day and practicing my social skills. Yeah… I should do that… Then I could finally be like those other cools guys. But first I should have a muffin… maybe banana nut… Now that’s a good muffin.

Wow… this coach does boot camps to help people learn how to approach random strangers on the street. It costs $4000 though. Hmmm… That would be really cool if I could afford it. But I can’t right now, so I’ll just have to wait. Maybe someday…

A few years pass, and the same lines are uttered once again.

How do you feel when you have thoughts like these? Inadequate? Not good enough? Not ready to have what you want yet? Still in learning mode, not in experiencing and enjoying mode?

Since I have a lot of friends who are already really good at this, i.e. people who’ve done thousands upon thousands of approaches, I asked some of them to candidly share what life is like on the other side. What I heard was very similar to what you might see in a person who overcomes their fear of door-to-door selling. It was a valid path of personal development, and they definitely got very good at it, and they were glad to have done it, but it didn’t actually give them what they wanted.

They got good at talking to strangers on the street, which was nice, but in the end they didn’t actually want to spend their days talking to strangers on the street. Getting really good at talking to strangers on the street didn’t help them create and enjoy the kinds of connections they really wanted, although some of them mistakenly thought it would help a lot. In many cases, investing in this skill actually distracted them from doing what was necessary to enjoy highly compatible, quality connections.

If you practice door-to-door selling a lot, you’ll get good at door-to-door selling. If you practice starting conversations with random people, you’ll get good at starting conversations with random people. But don’t assume that these skills will give you much more than that.

Based in part on these conversations, I realized that even if I made a big investment in this skill, it wouldn’t actually help me create the end result I was looking for. I wanted to enjoy close, intimate connections with highly compatible people — great friends, amazing lovers, heart-centered business colleagues. I didn’t want to spend my days hitting on people in bars and coffee shops.

So I shelved the idea of working on random street approaches and took a different path, focusing on the actual results I wanted. This worked. I got the results I wanted… quite abundantly in fact.

Instead of going out and approaching random strangers all day, I’m sharing espresso and deep conversation with a woman I adore, or cuddling each other tenderly, or having delightful romantic adventure, or enjoying dinner with great friends, or having soulful sex, or doing any of the other social activities I enjoy with people I like and who like me.

What’s the alternative to working on approach anxiety? Where could you focus your efforts instead?

For me the first step was to focus on my desires. Go deeper into identifying, clarifying, accepting, and owning what I’d really like to experience. I’ve written numerous articles about that already, so I won’t rehash it here.

If you catch yourself focusing on fears or blocks or limitations you think you need to overcome, stop doing that for a while, especially if you’ve been stuck working on the same blocks for years. If you haven’t overcome the block within 30 days after identifying it, now you’re just being lame and using it as an excuse not to keep moving forward. Put your silly block down, ignore it, and refocus your attention on your desires. Working on your blocks won’t motivate you to do anything but work on your blocks, and that’s an endless treadmill and a big waste of time.

I could worry about approach anxiety, or I could focus on my enjoyment of cuddling someone I really like. I could imagine sitting on my couch next to her, feeling the warmth from the fireplace, gently running my fingers through her hair, exploring her face with my fingertips, planting soft kisses on her cheek, seeing her smile, hearing a few Mmmmm’s from her, and relaxing into that warm and tender flow of energy between us. I could even imagine having a silly conversation with her about the guys who are going out and doing approaches on the street all day, thinking it will help them have an experience like we’re having right now. And she will roll her eyes dismissively at those silly guys, like she always does.

And then she’ll crack a mischievous smile and say in her submissively breathy voice, “Master, your slave is feeling naughty again.”

No approaches necessary.

What’s next with all this focus on anxiety? Do we need people to coach us on how to overcome cuddle anxiety?

Put your desires first. Your silly, sniveling fears don’t matter.

Second step. I learned to broadcast to the whole world what I want. The broadcasting itself is not actually the most significant part. The key is to release any lingering shame, fear, and guilt about having what I want. Broadcasting is a good way to test whether or not I’m there yet. If I can’t broadcast it yet, I know I still have some issues to resolve. Eventually as I lean into these desires more and more, I feel congruent enough to be able to broadcast without worrying about other people’s judgments or any other consequences. If I’m going to fulfill my desires, then this is a good test to see if I’m ready to accept the consequences of having those desires.

Thirdly, I modified my lifestyle so as to make it more naturally abundant in collisions with the types of people who are likely to be compatible with me. I’ve been doing a lot more traveling and speaking (and less blogging) for the past few years. When I travel I also prefer to stay with friends instead of in hotels. I go to more parties. I say yes to more group social invites.

I figured out where the good matches are likely to be clustered, and I put myself in those environments regularly. This works. I meet compatible people organically this way — people who are into self development, people who are into open relationships, people who like traveling. In these spheres, nobody really needs to approach. The compatibility is so high that people who are good matches typically attract each other like magnets. Much of the time, a mutual friend does the introductions. It’s pretty effortless.

If you don’t know where your best matches might be clustered, guess. You’ll guess wrong. Learn from it, and guess again. You’ll guess wrong again. Eventually you’ll find your way to your tribe. Just don’t sit around not guessing. You’re not going to figure this out through journaling and self-analysis. In the past I spent a lot of time in boring, awkward, and pointless social gatherings. That’s why today I’m able to enjoy stimulating, fun, and exciting social gatherings (while cuddling someone I like).

Fourthly, I learned to do specific invites for what I wanted, not for other B.S. fluff. If I want to cuddle a woman, I’ll invite her to cuddle. If I want to have a threesome with her, I’ll invite her to have a threesome. If I want to spend a day out with her exploring an art museum, I’ll invite her to go look at art. I have a lot of different interests. I like to honor all of them and share them with people. The key is to fully honor my desires in the moment.

No fake invites. No hidden agendas. I invite what I want. I let other people accept or decline. No convincing or persuading. If it’s not an enthusiastic yes, I’ll take it as a no. If they decline, I invite someone else.

If I’m not sure what I want, then I’ll invite someone to spend more time together and talk, so we can get to know each other better. I’ll talk about the kinds of connections I like most. I’ll ask that person what kinds of connections they enjoy most. I’ll find out how compatible we are up front. And I’ll be shamelessly myself. If I share something that’s a big part of my life, like open relationships, and the other person flinches, then I’ll probably talk even more about that instead of changing the subject — partly to see if they’re going to be scared off so easily and to find out quickly if they’ll be unable or unwilling to accept me completely as I am.

Fifthly — and this was the most recent lesson for me, which unlocked a powerful new level of abundance — I had to start giving a definitive no to invitations that weren’t actually what I wanted, even if they were close to it. I had to stop letting people try to convince me or talk me into things. As my friend Michael Lassen recently put this (paraphrasing): If it’s not a hell yes, it’s a no.

It’s so easy to get lost in the land of partial matches. We let people talk us into things that don’t really excite us. But “good enough” connections often leave us feeling hollow and disconnected. Say no to these, so you can focus on inviting some great connections instead. If it’s not working, give up quickly, and move on quickly. Don’t “work on the relationship.” If it feels like work, you’re not compatible enough.

What if you don’t know what you want? That isn’t a problem at all. Don’t turn that minor lack of clarity into another phony roadblock. If you don’t know what you want, that’s great. I often don’t know either. That’s the time to explore, experiment, and guess. You’re not going to know if you like something until after you’ve tried it, and even then, you may need to try it a few times to be sure. But don’t sit around like a stump pretending that you can’t take action just because you don’t know what you want.

I haven’t had breakfast yet. I’m pretty hungry now. But I don’t know what I want to eat. I’m confused. Oh no! Guess I’ll go hungry then… Poor me… If only I had more clarity… Maybe I should read another book to help me figure out what to have for breakfast… Maybe I should write a breakfast mission statement… Yeah, that’s it! I need to sit down and journal and figure this out…

That sounds really dumb, doesn’t it? Well, that’s how dumb you sound when you email me to whine about not being able to take action just because you don’t know what to do.

When you don’t know what you want to eat, you still manage to eat, don’t you? How do you accomplish that? Well… use the same approach for your social and relationship life. A bad meal isn’t the end of the world. Keep exploring and trying new things, and you’ll learn what you like. Then you can have more of what you like and less of what you don’t like.

If you’re really confused, then order something you know you’ll hate. I sometimes do this when I’m confused about what to eat. I deliberately make something I know I won’t like. Then I eat it anyway. It’s a good lesson to myself that I can never give myself permission to let a lack of clarity stop me.

When I exited my marriage in 2009, I dove into explorer mode, inviting all sorts of new connections and experiences. I’m still in that mode now, but I’ve also learned a lot more about what I like vs. don’t like. And so now I can do a much better job of inviting what I want and avoiding what doesn’t interest me. I now have a lifestyle that I love more than anything I’ve experienced before, but I keep experimenting. I continue to embrace the new.

What if you get into a social situation and feel socially disconnected? That’s completely normal. It’s feedback that you’re not in sync with the energies of the other people around you. It’s a sign that your intuition is working perfectly. If this happens a lot, it probably means you’re hanging out with incompatible people way too often.

Some people see this as a feeling of inadequacy. I think that more often than not, it’s a feeling of incompatibility.

Feeling socially disconnected doesn’t necessarily mean that you need to work on improving connections with people. In many cases that would be a very forced solution. The people I know who’ve tried that approach usually found it to be a dead end. Eventually they gave up… sometimes retreating even more than before.

If you feel socially disconnected, maybe that’s a sign to shed the partial matches that aren’t working for you. Stop investing in them. Let those old, increasingly incompatible energies fall by the wayside. Release the old first.

Then you can invite the new. Think about the types of people with whom you’d enjoy very natural connections with ease. Seek them out. Use the trial and error approach till you find your tribe. It’s out there, but you won’t see it while you’re busy tolerating partial matches and hoping they get better.

I often find that socially anxious people tend to prefer being very direct and honest in their interactions. Yet they often surround themselves with the most indirect friends and family. If they try being direct with those people, others will often take offense.

They’d rather be around people who communicate their thoughts and feelings authentically, instead of having to deal with all the ridiculous subtleties of getting around people’s social masks and shields.

I can handle myself just fine in a social situations where everyone is being very guarded and indirect, but I’d rather not deal with that if I can avoid it. I usually feel bored and listless in those situations; they feel fake, stunted, and unnatural. I prefer the company of people who are honest and authentic in their communication, and who will appreciate it when I communicate likewise. I do like some subtlety, but not the kind that involves wearing masks and disguising a hidden agenda.

Are approach anxiety (and various other labels) real problems that need to be overcome in order to enjoy a rich and abundant social and relationship life? No. You can work on those issues if you want, but don’t use them as excuses for not having what you desire. You can just as easily bypass these so-called blocks and do an end run around them.

Now for some breakfast!


Steve Recommends

Money Mindfest – Increase your financial abundance in this FREE online event from Learning Strategies

Site Build It! – Use SBI to start your own money-making website

Getting Rich with Ebooks – Use ebooks to create streams of passive income

Lefkoe Method – Eliminate a limiting belief in 20 minutes

Paraliminals – Condition your mind for positive thinking and success

The Journal – Record your life lessons in a secure private journal

PhotoReading – Read books 3 times faster

Sedona Method (FREE audios) – Learn to release mental and emotional blocks in a few minutes

Life on Purpose – A step-by-step process to discover your life purpose





If you’ve found Steve’s work helpful, please donate to show your support.

Add Steve on Google+  -  Follow Steve on Twitter  -  Get Steve’s Free newsletter

Uncopyrighted by Steve Pavlina

You may view the latest post at http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2013/10/you-dont-need-to-overcome-approach-anxiety/ You received this e-mail because you asked to be notified when new updates are posted. Best regards, Build Your Business Online peter.clarke@designed-for-success.com

Sunday 6 October 2013

[Build Your Business Online] TITLE

Build Your Business Online has posted a new item, 'D/s Play vs. Fairness and Equality'

After posting my previous article about D/s Play, which many readers seemed to enjoy, someone asked about the point of playing the roles of the Dominant and the submissive. Why do this sort of thing?

I think there are some other questions behind this question too: Aren’t fairness and equality in relationships much more sensible? Shouldn’t every decision be made mutually? Why would anyone want to submit to the will of another?

I know that some people get a little turned off by the labels here. I get that, but the labels don’t matter much. Let me ‘splain.

D/s = Driver and Passenger

Here’s a simple metaphor for understanding the value of D/s: getting into a vehicle (car, bus, etc) where one person drives.

D/s simply means engaging in activities where you have a driver and a passenger. One person leads. The other follows.

Why would anyone want to follow? Because s/he trusts the driver to take them on a mutually desirable journey. It’s done for the benefit of both.

You submit to letting someone else lead you (or drive you), when you think it will benefit you to do so. You submit for selfish reasons.

And when you lead, you’re doing it not just for yourself but for the benefit of others as well.

Whenever I get into an airplane, I’m submitting. After I take my seat, the flight is out of my control. I let the pilot lead me, trusting that he’ll take me to my intended destination.

I do this when a friend drives me somewhere too. Sometimes they take me to a surprise location. Hey, let me show you this cool place you’ve never been to before. If I trust the friend, then I expect that the journey and the destination will be good for me to experience, and usually that turns out to be true.

If D/s play is unfair or inequitable, then so is driving. Is it unfair that only one person gets to drive at any one time? Do people cry out that the bus driver should share the driver’s seat with the passengers? Of course not. People see the value in letting the driver drive.

Why submit to being a passenger? One reason is that it can be more relaxing than driving, if you trust the driver. Driving is more work. If everyone had to drive all at the same time, it would require a lot more effort. So it’s nice to have situations where we can relax and let someone else drive now and then. Wouldn’t you agree?

Driverless Relationships

One problem we see in human relationships is that they often fall into aimless drifting. One reason this happens is that no one is really in charge. With shared responsibility it’s easy to shun responsibility. No one is 100% personally accountable for what happens. Under such conditions, relationships have a tendency to descend into doldrums.

In households where no one is in charge of doing the dishes, the dishes often pile up. But if one person is clearly in charge of the dishes, and if everyone knows it, the dishes are more likely to be done and put away. Everyone wins.

For some people it’s okay to be in a relationship where no one is leading.

But even within the fairest and most equitable relationships, there are situations where it’s wise to have one person lead. For starters, this happens whenever both people get into a car and one person drives. They can take turns if they want. But still one person is driving at any one time.

Who makes dinner? What happens when neither person is in charge? The couple can waste time vacillating every evening about what to eat. It’s simple if one person decides what to make and then makes it (which may include directing the other person to help), and then they both eat. If one person didn’t like the choice, they can give feedback, and this can be adjusted for next time.

What about sex? When does the couple have sex? How often? Which positions? Which fantasies will be explored this week?

In a driverless relationship, sex often falls into vanilla, repetitive patterns. It can lack spice and spontaneity. But when one person is in charge, and the other person can just relax and follow, it’s certainly possible (but not guaranteed) for both people to enjoy the experience much more.

Leading

Who’s the right choice for leading in any given situation? I think it makes sense for it to be the person who’s likely to do the best job.

When Rachelle is staying with me, she cooks. I’m an okay cook, but she’s a great cook — much better than I am. She knows how to do things with food that seem like magic to me. Maybe I’m held back a little due to being colorblind. Maybe she just has more experience. Maybe she cares more about doing a good job. For whatever reason, there’s no debate. She’s the better cook, and we both know it. She also happens to enjoy cooking.

Rachelle cooks. I pay for the food. We both feel that’s a fair arrangement. It’s been working well for us for years. If either of us stopped liking it, we could change that. But for now, when it comes to making meals, she’s the driver, and I’m the passenger.

I love her cooking. I never take it for granted. I always tell her I appreciate that she made us a nice meal. I feel lucky whenever I sit down to eat with her.

When she sometimes asks me what I’d like for dinner, I often tell her to decide. Whatever she makes, I’ll eat it. I like letting her lead. I trust her. We have very compatible tastes in food. And she’ll do a better job than me. I find it relaxing to let go and let her handle everything. It’s more work for her, but she accepts that work. And I really appreciate that she likes doing this.

In other areas of life, I prefer to lead. Why? Because generally speaking, I’m good at it. I usually have a lot of clarity about what I’d like to explore next, and I like to invite people into those explorations much of the time. When they accept, we’re off and running. More often than not, I prefer to be in charge of setting the course.

Some people hate being in charge, but in many areas of life, I love it. I love feeling the weight of responsibility on my shoulders. I love knowing that other people are counting on me. I love running my own business. I love deciding what to do each day with no boss. I love being able to create positive ripples in the world. I love the freedom of getting to decide. I love the challenge of making good decisions.

In the bedroom I love it when a woman surrenders and lets me lead. I love being free to direct the exploration with her; to guide us both into joyful, heart-centered pleasure; to make us both feel really good; to play with her in the ways I like (and that I expect she’ll like as well). I love playing with the energy between us, getting us turned on sexually, drawing that energy back up into our hearts, and swirling it around through our bodies.

I especially love it when a woman surrenders outside of the bedroom, agreeing that I can touch her and play with her whenever I desire. This gives me the ability to direct, tease, and play with the energy between us. I love filling her day with surprise escalations to rile her up, then making her hold onto that energy as anticipation. I like having the opportunity, but not the obligation, to do this. Women seem to love this too — the surprise, the anticipation, the constant wondering about what may happen next. Not all women may like this of course. But I like it, so I prefer to connect with like-minded women. I’m not interested in taking on passengers who would complain about my driving. I want passengers who can relax and enjoy the ride, letting me drive in the way that feels natural to me.

And of course if the woman ever objects to something, she’s always free to pause or stop things. She’s not taking this ride with a stranger. She’s taking this ride with someone she trusts. So there’s always time for feedback and adjustment. The whole point of entering into this arrangement, from her perspective, is that she likes it. She’s doing this for entirely selfish reasons — because it’s very pleasurable for her.

Following

Why follow, either sexually or otherwise in a relationship? The benefit is that you can often have a much richer and more pleasurable experience if you let someone else lead.

If you can relax and let go with a good partner who knows how to lead, giving them permission to be in charge of your pleasure, you may be surprised to learn that they do a pretty good job of it.

You do this whenever you get a massage, unless you’re micro-managing the person’s every movement. You trust the person to make you feel good. You don’t know exactly what they’ll do, but you hope they’re competent enough to make you feel good. In such a situation, your best option is to relax and let them touch you. Afterwards, you can reflect on the experience and offer feedback. You can also decide whether you’d want to get a massage from this person again.

When I give a woman a massage, and she wants another one from me, I figure I’m doing something right. She let me lead. She was happy with the result. She wants more.

The same goes for really sexual D/s play. If the women I did this with told me that they didn’t enjoy the experience, then of course they wouldn’t come back. If they like it, they want more. Why? Because it’s fun and it feels good.

D/s play can also be a growth experience. Sometimes when I get a massage from a friend, she does some new technique that I’ve never seen before. So I ask her to teach it to me. Then I can add that to my own repertoire as well. This is one thing I love about connecting with multiple partners. You can learn from more people and thereby upgrade your skills faster.

To date I’ve seen no reasonable objections to D/s play. To say there’s something wrong with it is like saying that there’s something wrong with any kind of leader-follower dynamic, including driving.

The reality is that when done well, D/s play of a sexual nature is very pleasurable for all involved. People feel good. Everyone is happy. Consequently, I question the intelligence of those who claim it could be somehow wrong, unethical, or unfair. I imagine those people to be unable to get into a vehicle and let someone else drive, due to the inherent unfairness of such submissive behavior.

Getting Past the Labels

I realize that D/s sounds like something dark and mysterious, but the reality is fairly simple. Leading and following is a natural human dynamic that we experience every day. There are many situations where it’s nice to have a clear leader. And it’s also nice to acknowledge who’s following and why.

Is it really such a bad thing to have a leader role in the bedroom? That’s up to you to decide. Anarchy can be fun at times, but I usually prefer to have a more focused and intense experience. I know how to create that, so that’s one reason I like to lead.

Could I also follow? Sure. But for me it wouldn’t be with some leather-clad dominatrix who wants me to worship her feet. However, I could see myself doing this with a tantra-experienced woman that I could trust to lead me into some new experiences. Then as I gained more experience there, I’d enjoy turning around and leading other women in different ways based on what I learned. I love to learn and explore, so with the right woman that I trusted to lead me in a favorable direction, I could let go and follow. What I’d be interested in exploring as a follower though is different from what I like to explore as a leader.

There’s a time to follow, and there’s a time to lead. Both roles are important in life. Neither is better or worse than the other.

Emotional Honesty

What I actually like about the Dominance and submission labels is that they feel more emotionally honest to me. If I’m going to really do my part as a follower and learn as much as I can, then I’ll submit. I’ll let go and be the best follower I can. I’ll take orders. I’ll do what needs to be done.

I did that in Toastmasters, for instance. I was a Toastmaster from 2004 to 2010. I followed the blueprint. I completed many speeches according to the specs. I earned the educational awards. I served as a club officer multiple times. I jumped through the hoops that were laid out for me. I saw little value in some of the assignments, but I did them anyway, and in many cases I understood the value later. It was helpful for me to let go and trust in the wisdom of those who designed the program and of my fellow club members who had much more speaking experience than I did.

Eventually I began feeling that it was time to move on. I started resisting the assignments. I had to give only one more speech to earn my next educational award, and I didn’t want to do it. I began speaking more often outside of Toastmasters. I got paid to speak. Eventually I quit Toastmasters and moved on to doing my own workshops and becoming an international speaker.

Now I lead myself in this area. I can put together my own events. I can choose my own speaking topics. I get to travel a lot, which I love. But in order to get here, it was helpful for me to submit fully to the learning process, to surrender my path for a while so that I could learn from people with more experience, to be a good student, to let other people lead me.

I could have been an ornery student, rebellious and independent from the beginning. But I don’t think that would have been the best way for me to learn. It wouldn’t have been so good for my club either. Submitting to the process worked well. I’m glad I did it.

Of course at any time, I have the ability to un-submit. That freedom never goes away. If Toastmasters had turned out to be some crazy cult with a hidden agenda, I’d have been out of there in a flash. But as long as I could see that submitting to the program was beneficial to myself and others, it made sense to continue doing so. The program has its flaws, but it worked for me. When I joined, I wanted to learn how to speak professionally. I not only achieved my goal; I exceeded it.

D/s in the Bedroom

In the bedroom it’s really the same dynamic at play. You can learn a lot from others, especially when you let them lead you into an experience.

One reason I love the emotional honesty of the D/s labels is that it exposes trust issues. When a woman and I play these roles together, it only works if we trust each other. If we don’t have a good heart connection, we can go there. Someone will resist.

To a lesser extent, you can see this tension arise elsewhere in a relationship too. If trust is breaking down, people will nitpick each other’s decisions. Why did you turn down that street instead of the other one? Why did you buy so many bananas? Why didn’t you take the trash out yet?

When there’s a D/s dynamic in the relationship, trust issues can be exposed faster, while they’re still small. This prevents serious weeds from growing into the relationship. If something isn’t working in the D/s roles, it’s because something else is off in the relationship.

Looking at this from the other side, another benefit of D/s play is that is can actually strengthen the bond of trust in a relationship. Because you keep stepping into this place where high trust is essential, you keep renewing that trust with your partner. This flows outside the bedroom too, infecting the rest of your relationship with more love, gratitude, and appreciation.

One of the most delicious aspects of a relationship is when the leader and follower roles swirl together in delightful patterns of play and teasing. For instance, while Rachelle is making dinner, I’ll often come into the kitchen… hug her from behind… plant soft kisses on her neck and cheeks… massage her neck… tell her I love her deeply… whisper sexy thoughts into her ear… run my hands sensually over her body… slipping them beneath her clothing… teasing any parts of her that I desire… enjoy feeling her body quake and hearing her moan… and spin her around and kiss her passionately. Then I head back to my office and let her finish cooking.


Steve Recommends

Money Mindfest – Increase your financial abundance in this FREE online event from Learning Strategies

Site Build It! – Use SBI to start your own money-making website

Getting Rich with Ebooks – Use ebooks to create streams of passive income

Lefkoe Method – Eliminate a limiting belief in 20 minutes

Paraliminals – Condition your mind for positive thinking and success

The Journal – Record your life lessons in a secure private journal

PhotoReading – Read books 3 times faster

Sedona Method (FREE audios) – Learn to release mental and emotional blocks in a few minutes

Life on Purpose – A step-by-step process to discover your life purpose





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Saturday 5 October 2013

[Build Your Business Online] TITLE

Build Your Business Online has posted a new item, 'D/s Play'

Many of us live in a repressed world. We don’t feel safe enough to share our truest, deepest desires with each other. We keep certain fantasies strictly to ourselves, hiding them where no one else is allowed to look.

These desires are not allowed into the light — they’re our secret shame, our darkness denied. But privately they remain very rich and real to us.

What if you could explore some of those fantasies though? I know you can’t, but what if?

What if you could connect with a willing partner where there was such a deep and powerful bond of trust, that you could share more of yourself than you thought possible? What if this connection was so intimate, that sharing with another simply felt like circulating a thought within your own mind? No walls. No secrets.

What if you could allow this person into the dark places of your naughtiness, the parts that have been shamed as sinful, dirty, naughty — labels that imply wrongness and immorality just for thinking about these possibilities, let alone acting on them?

Sometimes opening up and talking about these fantasies is still too much for us, even with a very trusting partner. We can’t even get the words out to describe them. Maybe we’d like to, but the words would only sound hollow and pathetic. The experience is what matters.

Beyond this, there may be certain experiences that would take you to the heights of pleasure never before experienced, but you don’t even know they exist. You don’t suppress or deny them. You simply aren’t aware that certain things would actually turn you on to such a degree — because you’ve never tried them. You’ve probably never even thought to try them.

Opening the Door

What if you could connect with a partner that had permission to explore with you? What if you gave this partner permission to help you discover and experience your deepest fantasies, your biggest turn-ons, your guiltiest pleasures?

Sometimes great pleasure can be found in the simplest acts. Perhaps you get really turned on when you’re touched in a certain way… or when some specific phrases are whispered into your ear… or when you allow yourself to say or do certain things… or when you visualize a certain scene in a certain way… or when your partner says, “I love doing X for you. Making you feel good makes me feel good.” and then does it, and you can only lie back and receive.

What if you could connect with a partner that was willing to discover what you really, really like… and then upon such discovery, this partner would continue to do more of it? And then what if this partner continued to explore around the edges, with the aim of finding other pleasures and perhaps even greater ones?

So you know you like chocolate. Let’s see if you like chocolate mint then. No? How about chocolate raspberry? Or chocolate and red wine? Or the feeling of chocolate sauce being licked off your chest?

You love it when someone gives you oral sex? Of course, let’s  have you lie back and receive that now… for an hour or so, without letting you reach orgasm yet. Just hold onto that energy.

Is it better with this music? Let’s try it this way. Mildly stimulating for you? How about like this? Oh, you like that even more. And this? Not so much. Ok, back to this… But have you ever had it this way? Oooh, you REALLY like that, don’t you? Don’t stop… I get it.

This isn’t just about exploring physical pleasure together. What thoughts can we coax into your mind that will give you the richest mind-body pleasure too? And what feelings can we help create in your heart to enrich the experience even more? And what kind of overall connection do you want to co-create, such that your pleasure becomes synergistically greater?

Physical technique is perhaps the least important element. It matters to some degree, but not as much as people think. What matters even more is the energy and intention that’s brought into the space together — the energy of love, lightness, curiosity, and a desire to lower the shields and play together like free spirits.

I can certainly attest that an amateur massage given with love and caring and the intention to make the other person feel really good feels so much better than a professional, technique-driven massage delivered with coldness and detachment. The energy is everything.

The Three Modes of D/s Play

To me, the point of D/s play (i.e. Domination and submission) is for two people to explore together, so as to learn more about what gives each other pleasure.

From the outside looking in, this may appear to be about one person giving up control to another. It looks very asymmetrical. One person commands. One person submits.

But when it works, there’s a much deeper symmetry. Both people are giving each other permission to explore what gives them pleasure. Once you get behind the outer shell, the inside is simply an expression of love.

In the first mode of D/s play, the Dominant is commanding the submissive to give him/her pleasure. I want you to make me feel good. The sub’s role is to step into being a source of pleasure for another, which can be quite a delicious experience for some. The Dom’s role is to invite pleasure and to receive without resistance. There are tremendous lessons here for both.

In the second mode, the Dom invites the sub to explore the sub’s sources of pleasure. I want you to let me make you feel good. The sub’s role is now to receive, especially by allowing the Dom to discover the sub’s pleasure triggers. The Dom’s role is to discover what gives the sub pleasure and to give that pleasure in the most delicious ways,  such as by teasing and building up the energy without releasing it right away. There are powerful lessons to be learned here as well.

In the third mode, the Dom and the sub agree to explore how they can co-create the deepest, richest experience of pleasure for each other at the same time. Both are doing their best to tap into the flow of giving and receiving. The Dom is simply the one giving a voice to that flow. But when they’re truly in sync, the voice is almost redundant. They can both hear where the flow wants to go so clearly that no verbalization is necessary. But when things fall off track, the Dom is the one with the clear responsibility to do what it takes to restore the flow state, and the sub trusts the Dom to perform this role.

No mode is superior to the others. These aren’t levels or steps to progress through. They’re simply different ways of exploring together. Each mode has its own delights and its own lessons.

Invitation to Explore

D/s play is an invitation to explore together, to go deeply into one’s desires — especially the unacknowledged subconscious desires.

D/s play is a very private, personal experience. It’s raw and rich and alive. It is deeply intimate, sensually intense, and stunningly beautiful. No words can adequately describe the reality.

I would never try to convince anyone to explore D/s play. If any convincing is required, that would kill the whole purpose. Surrendering to the experience cannot happen if there is any pressure to do so. It must be a free, conscious choice. There has to be a sense of readiness and willingness to explore. Otherwise the shields are still up, and surrender doesn’t occur.

D/s play is  first a general invitation. This is something that’s out there in the world already. It’s an experience that you can have with someone if you so desire it. It’s an open door you can choose to walk through… or not. Each role within D/s play is something you can choose or reject as well.

If you accept the first invitation, then D/s play can also take on the form a specific invitation. Someone may invite you into such an experience with them, or you may invite them. Each invitation opens the door to a unique exploration. But until you accept the first invitation, the second one will largely remain hidden from you.

Discovering Pleasure

To invite a person into the space of intimate exploration requires a lot of trust. Avoiding a bad experience becomes very important. Take the time to create a strong bond of trust with your partner before you go too deep. Don’t rush. Make sure that your hearts are able to get into sync and follow each other. A stain of distrust or suspicion ruins the experience.

Trust your intuition. If you receive such an invite but your intuition says No, this person isn’t trustworthy, or I think s/he has a hidden agenda, or I don’t feel right about this, then politely decline the invite. Don’t debate. Don’t try to talk yourself into it. First and foremost, avoid the bad experience. If you have to push yourself into it, that’s a mistake.

If I don’t fully trust a woman, I won’t invite her into such an experience with me, and I won’t accept such an invitation from her. In terms of being open to D/s play with other partners, I can only suggest the possibility in general, but I wouldn’t offer a specific invitation to explore such things until I feel we have a connection based on mutual trust, caring, respect, and a willingness to explore together. For me, declining an invite simply means, not yet.

I also look for an indication of a mutual growth experience. I’m not interested in being any woman’s teacher or trainer in this space. I’m an explorer, and I want to keep exploring, not to rehash what I already know. So it’s important for me to connect with partners who can bring something fresh and new into this exploration. Fortunately that isn’t difficult. Everyone is unique, so everyone has something fresh and new to offer — especially if they’re willing to open the door to a very rich “third mode” type of connection.

When shared in public, D/s play may receive its share of ridicule, insults, and juvenile commentary. But in the richness of the real experience, we close the doors to this outside world, so none of that social and sexual immaturity is present. In a way, D/s play is an act of rebellion, saying to the disconnected, consumption driven world that we’re going to explore the full richness of our connection anyway, away from your prying eyes and lack of understanding.

D/s play is free. It doesn’t cost a dime. So don’t expect the world of marketing and media to like it. They must continue to shun it, to cast it out, to shame it. For otherwise, if it became widely known that bliss is free, who would turn on the TV?

Deepening Pleasure

Once the bond of trust is created and the D/s play exploration has begun, then each taste becomes even more delicious than the last.

What gives you the most pleasure? What gives your partner the most pleasure? How can we co-create the greatest feelings of mutual pleasure? These questions are asked and answered again and again.

Moreover, the very definition of pleasure is questioned and explored. Is physical pleasure the best we can do? What about mental pleasure? Emotional pleasure? Spiritual pleasure? How we can combine different forms of pleasure at the same time, so that all parts of your being are open, receptive, and engaged?

Bliss

What is bliss? How do we define that? How can we create that experience together?

In a way, bliss is a result of letting go.

Many people who’ve experienced bliss would agree that bliss is our natural state. It’s how we feel when we’re at our very best. To return to that state, we need to release the blocks that keep us from it. D/s play is the act of giving another person permission to help you identify and release these blocks.

What keeps you out of bliss? Do you allow your body image to get in the way? Have your turn-ons been shamed and guilted away? Are you afraid of rejection or judgment? Are you unable to express your desires without feeling you’re being too selfish? Do you see people as separate from you, a potential threat? Do you stop yourself from fully surrendering to pleasure?

Are you ready to let all of that nonsense go? Have you decided that it’s time to shed it? Have you come to the awareness that there are no good reasons for denying yourself and others great pleasure? Are you ready to return to your natural state of being — to be happy, to creatively express yourself, to touch, to feel, to smile, to laugh, and to play?

Are you aware that D/s play isn’t just a sexual experience? It’s actually an experience filled with lots of laughter. I think partly the laughs come out as various blocks are released. That once-trapped energy is often released as laughter. Sometimes as tears of joy. And sometimes as other strong, seemingly out of place emotions. And afterwards there’s a tremendous feeling of relief. Finally that trapped energy has been freed.

We block ourselves from experiencing bliss in so many ways. D/s play is simply one tool among many for returning there. It can be intense to be sure, but this kind of intensity is a good thing; it’s the release of trapped energy. If you’re ready to invite that kind of experience, great. If you’re not ready to invite it, no worries; there are other paths of growth to explore.

What I love about D/s play is that it’s a social experience. It is a commitment to explore bliss with another person, to remove our masks and lower our shields, to return ourselves to the recognition that we’re already one.

I could meditate on my own, but more often than not, I’ll simply fall asleep from boredom. I do meditate regularly, but mainly as a way of taking a break and relaxing my mind. I prefer to create the experience of bliss by inviting the body along for the ride, rather than trying to transcend the body and retreat into the mind, heart, and spirit. I want to bring the physical world with me… no need to leave it behind. It can make the trip. It’s all energy anyway. To share such an experience with another is deliciousness incarnate, one of my favorite parts of this human journey.

When I look into a woman’s eyes after we’ve both surrendered ourselves fully, I see an angel. I see her full spiritual beauty, her perfection, her true nature. And I’m in awe of it. To behold such beauty and to feel it beholding me with no shielding whatsoever is a pleasure beyond all pleasures.

The Beauty of Contrast

I understand and accept that I live in a world that has its share of challenges. I don’t resist that. In fact, I love the contrast of it.

I even love the contrast of being called out in public as a narcissist, a pervert, a serial killer in the making for openly and shamelessly sharing my desires to explore and experience the full richness of sensuality, love, and bliss with women. This type of feedback has been my reality for years, and I imagine it will follow me till the day I die.

In the past I resisted it. How wickedly cruel! How terribly unfair! How harshly unjust!

Now I actively invite it in. I tease it. I play with it. I dance with it.

The problem was never the critics. The only problem was my resistance to them. Once I lowered my shields, I realized that they have no swords, no spears, no weapons of any kind.

I give the harshest critics all the evidence they need to try, convict, and sentence me for such perverse offenses against society. I’m guilty as charged. And yet I still remain free.

My friend Zan Perrion loves to say that beauty needs a witness. He’s right. I think that beauty needs a backdrop too. A flower is a thing of beauty when viewed against a sea of green and brown. The mountain is beautiful against the contrasting blue sky. The galaxies look beautiful against the blackness of space.

Even the memory of opposites can create contrast. A field of flowers is even more beautiful against the backdrop of memories of no flowers.

Beauty seen in contrast yields appreciation, and appreciation heightens the experience of beauty. This helped me understand that in order to move towards beauty, I must also move towards the contrast — and to fully embrace it and appreciate it for the service it provides.

Against the contrast of criticism, I take even more pleasure in the experience of looking into a woman’s eyes and seeing her spirit beaming at me. In that moment, her soulful wink speaks volumes to me — acknowledging the delightful nature of living in a world of such contrast, thereby giving meaning to the contrast. She sees me. She knows me. She loves me. Angels do not stand out as vividly against a white backdrop, and so I can appreciate the purpose of the darker one… and playfully invite it to get darker still.


Steve Recommends

Money Mindfest – Increase your financial abundance in this FREE online event from Learning Strategies

Site Build It! – Use SBI to start your own money-making website

Getting Rich with Ebooks – Use ebooks to create streams of passive income

Lefkoe Method – Eliminate a limiting belief in 20 minutes

Paraliminals – Condition your mind for positive thinking and success

The Journal – Record your life lessons in a secure private journal

PhotoReading – Read books 3 times faster

Sedona Method (FREE audios) – Learn to release mental and emotional blocks in a few minutes

Life on Purpose – A step-by-step process to discover your life purpose





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