Let me share some of the feedback I received about my last blog post and the new web page it links to regarding Meeting in Person. Essentially all I did was share in great detail what types of connections I’d like to explore with men and with women who want to meet up in face to face. I shared my thoughts, feelings, and desires honestly, in such a way that people can more easily determine how compatible we’re likely to be in terms of a personal connection. My motivation was to receive fewer but more compatible invites, so as to save myself and other people some time if we’re not that compatible — and to give more confidence to very compatible people that I’d welcome an invite from them.
First off, most of the feedback was very positive — in a pretty big way. I received several richly detailed and emotionally expressive emails from people who resonated strongly with what I shared, especially from those who felt we were very good 3D or 4D matches. I also received some “let’s meet up” invites from people who’ve already concluded that we’re strongly compatible, including a few new cuddle invites from women. I think that’s really beautiful. 
Another positive side effect was that some people with whom I already share a nice connection read that, and they told me just how much they liked it, expressing a desire to connect across more dimensions than we have thus far after recognizing just how compatible we’re likely to be.
I realize now that not sharing this was only keeping people in the dark. There were people already in my life who’d have been happy to connect more deeply, if only they’d known that I was open to it and that we both wanted something similar. Now that they know, this really moves things forward in a delightful way.
Overall I love this. It’s really nice to hear people saying, “Based on what you shared, I’d truly love to develop a closer connecting with you. I really think that we could develop a really nice 3D connection together, and possibly a 4D one.” This makes me feel really good about how my social life will continue to evolve over the next several months. If I seem excited about this, it’s because I am.
The feedback wasn’t all rosy, however. Let me share some of the more critical pieces, so you can get some idea of just how polarizing this topic is to some people:
Wow Steve,
I read your meeting in person page, and, basically it’s a long excuse for saying that you are a creepy pervert and will probably end up being a serial killer if your perverted desires don’t get met soon! I think you need to get away for a while and rethink who you are and realize that it is NOT OK to go after everything you desire (serial killers had a desire to rape and kill people, does that make it OK?). Part of being a man is being willing to give your love and attention to ONE woman and not act on your incredibly selfish and perverted desires (which, by the way, are NOT exactly normal, they are the same hyper-desires of killers, rapists, and pedaphiles). I used to look up to you and now I can see that you are just another fucked up individual that probably had a hard time getting woman in your earlier years so now you are trying to fix that problem. It is OK that you didn’t get to fuck the prom queen! But don’t go down this path, it will destroy your reputation. I won’t mention my thoughts about this on my blog (300K uniques per month) right away, but if this is still here in a week, I won’t have a choice.
Here’s another:
Ah you’re grand, I’d be afraid of what I’d catch. You sound like a proper little slapper and a bit of a megalomaniac.
I wouldn’t have thought men would be interested in meeting up with you, but then again, the whole post is just an exercise in stroking your own ego.
“Sometimes I participate in mastermind sessions with my male friends, whereby a bunch of us get together, talk about our goals and challenges, and brainstorm ways to help each other succeed. Obviously I can’t bring other guys into such a group if they’re going to be dead weight.”
What a great opportunity missed to have a good laugh at you and the other geniuses by men of “less caliber”.
Gobshite. I will read another few articles though, as it’s fun reading stuff from peopple [sic] with your kind of mental disorder.
And a public social media comment:
Really? I have so many people who want me, if you don’t meet my criteria, blow off. Oh, and if I’m going to fuck you, I have to be your master… Blech. He can go fuck himself. (Which I’m sure he would do if he could.) If you’ve never had the “pleasure” of trying to relate to a narcissist, consider yourself lucky. (I’m not sure why he’s looking for partners since he thinks everyone is just a mirage in his “reality”…)
Partly I share this so you know what you may be getting yourself into, should you choose to go a similar route. In this case the feedback is from people over the Internet that I’ve never met as far as I know. My friends have been overwhelmingly supportive.
So just be aware that putting yourself out there and expressing your desires honestly may evoke some critical feedback. This kind of feedback (or perhaps a milder version of it) may even come from people close to you if what you share rubs them the wrong way.
However, negative feedback is typically short-lived. With most of my blog posts, such criticism has a half-life of about 48 hours, meaning that half of all the negative feedback I will ever receive about a blog post comes within the first two days. The rest is spread out across the remaining lifetime of the post. Of course it’s hard to feel too upset when someone criticizes something that was published several years ago. This is just an off the cuff estimate of course; the key point is that such criticism doesn’t have much endurance. So if you go this route, you may want to sit tight the first couple days, let any harshness pass, and invest your energy in following up on the positive feedback and new invitations.
As the negative feedback blows over, the positive ripples become really noticeable. The more I’ve leaned into clarifying, accepting, owning, and then broadcasting my desires (including the predictable consequences of such broadcasting, like getting some critical feedback), the more I shift from wanting to having. Having is better.
Even if I continued to receive a lot more critical feedback like the above, the rewards are more than worth it. When I’m enjoying a delightful cuddle session with a woman I really like, I’m not thinking about the critics. I’m thinking of how appreciative I am to have such a wonderful, heart-centered woman in my life. I’m thinking of how warm, happy, and pleasurable it feels to hold her in my arms. I’m enjoying the sensation of planting soft kisses on her neck and cheeks and gently running my fingers through her hair while we listen to music together. In that moment the only feedback I’m hearing is from her… Mmmm… that feels really good. Keep doing that…
Some people I’ve never met call me names, diagnosing me with mental disorders over the Internet. Meanwhile the women I like and respect tell me they like me, they care about me, they enjoy my company, they love my touch, they want to spend more time together, they want to cuddle-sleep together, they’re happy, they want to do more activities together, etc. Who would you listen to?
Sometimes I share the negative feedback with those women. You know how they respond? Usually they express shock and dismay, then they sometimes laugh, then they look at me with very compassionate eyes, and then they cuddle me closer. In the long run, they end up having more respect for me, knowing that I willingly chose to subject myself to this kind of criticism just to bring them into my life and to spend time with them. That is honestly how this normally plays out.
As Stephen Covey wrote, “When you pick up one end of a stick, you pick up the other end too.” Sometimes one end of that stick is covered in crap, but fortunately that isn’t the end you need to touch.
I really like loving, caring, affectionate, heart-centered women. I’ll walk through a minefield of criticism any day just to spend some time connecting with a woman like that. They’re so worth it.
Now if you’ll please excuse me, I have a cuddle date tonight.
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